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How Traditional Self-Discipline Misses the Mark

Instead of controlling thoughts directly, my approach focuses on understanding that thoughts should not control us. We cultivate awareness to manage our responses, recognizing thoughts as temporary and not necessarily reflective of our true selves or values.

Today, I opened my daily listserv email from an author I've long admired, who focuses on self-discipline and mindfulness. While I often agree with much of what the author has to say, there’s always been something that hasn’t sat right with me. Today, I discovered why. The email contained a quote by Napoleon Hill, and it clarified the core difference between his approach and mine. Hill's philosophy centers on direct control over one's thoughts to achieve self-discipline and success. His quote, "Self-discipline begins with the mastery of your thoughts," encapsulates this belief. In contrast, my approach emphasizes awareness and ensuring our thoughts do not control us, inspired by mindfulness and a focus on personal values.

1. Control of Thoughts

Napoleon Hill's Approach: Hill believed that controlling and directing thoughts can influence emotions and behaviors. Positive affirmations and constructive thoughts replace negative thoughts and self-doubt. By mastering your thoughts, you can achieve a higher level of self-discipline and ultimately, success.

My Approach: Instead of controlling thoughts directly, my approach focuses on understanding that thoughts should not control us. We cultivate awareness to manage our responses, recognizing thoughts as temporary and not necessarily reflective of our true selves or values.

2. Goals and Purpose

Napoleon Hill's Approach: Hill emphasized having a "Definite Major Purpose" in life, which acts as a guiding star. Clear, specific goals provide direction and motivation, making self-discipline easier.

My Approach: Instead of setting specific goals, I emphasize focusing on the kind of person we aspire to be. This approach provides a consistent, value-driven framework for behavior, allowing for growth and adaptation without the pressure of rigid targets.

3. Persistence and Acceptance

Napoleon Hill's Approach: Consistently working towards a goal builds discipline and forms habits aligned with one's objectives. Persistence is key to maintaining focus and achieving success.

My Approach: Rather than relentless persistence, I advocate for accepting where we are and being compassionate with ourselves. This fosters a sustainable approach to self-discipline, where self-kindness leads to resilience and long-term growth.

4. Planning and Flexibility

Napoleon Hill's Approach: Detailed planning and organization reduce uncertainty and increase the likelihood of disciplined action. Organized plans provide a step-by-step approach to achieving goals.

My Approach: While planning is important, my approach encourages flexibility and adaptability. Understanding that rigid plans can sometimes hinder progress, we adjust as needed, remaining open to changes and new opportunities.

5. Positive Attitude vs. Balanced Perspective

Napoleon Hill's Approach: Maintaining an optimistic and constructive outlook helps overcome setbacks and maintain discipline. Hill introduced the concept of Positive Mental Attitude (PMA).

My Approach: Instead of a purely positive mental attitude, I promote a balanced perspective that acknowledges both positive and negative emotions. Using mindfulness, we navigate them effectively, ensuring we stay grounded and realistic.

6. Reflection and Mindful Practice

Napoleon Hill's Approach: Regular self-reflection helps identify areas for improvement and adjust strategies. Learning from failures is crucial for developing self-discipline.

My Approach: Self-reflection and learning are integral, but I emphasize continuous mindful practice. Focusing on the process of growth, we learn from each experience and stay present, allowing us to evolve naturally and sustainably.

Integration with Math Tutoring

In my math tutoring sessions, I help students become aware of their thoughts and emotions related to math anxiety or stress. By using mindfulness techniques, students learn to manage their physiological responses and create a mental state conducive to learning. This approach not only helps in mastering math concepts but also builds resilience and emotional regulation, which can be applied in other areas of their lives.

Summary

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The difference between Hill's and my approach lies in the method of achieving self-discipline. While Hill advocates for direct control over thoughts, my approach emphasizes mindfulness, awareness, and ensuring our thoughts do not control us. By focusing on the kind of person we want to be, fostering acceptance and compassion, encouraging flexible planning, promoting a balanced perspective, and practicing continuous mindfulness, we cultivate a healthier relationship with thoughts and emotions. This process-oriented, holistic, and compassionate approach aligns with modern understandings of psychology and mindfulness practices, fostering long-term growth and resilience.

Special thanks to Oliver Burkeman for his insightful contributions to modern approaches to self-discipline and mindfulness, which have greatly influenced my perspective.

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The SAT - Why It Still Matters

Pre-Pandemic SAT Influence

Before COVID-19 changed everything in the education world, colleges believed that the SAT was their best way to see if students could handle their academic programs. It acted like a key, unlocking the gates to higher education. However, despite its significance, there were concerns about its fairness, as it seemed easier for those with who could get more help studying for it. I work hard to make sure that all students can get a good education and test prep help.

Pause in SAT Requirements During the Pandemic

When COVID-19 started, it was hard for many students to take the SAT safely. So, some colleges stopped requiring the SAT for a while. They wanted to make sure all students had a fair chance to get into college. This made colleges think about whether they really needed the SAT to find out if students could succeed at their schools.

Dartmouth's Surprising Findings About the SAT

During the pandemic, Dartmouth College studied the SAT closely. They found that the SAT, along with students’ grades and their schools' performance, was good at finding students who would do well at Dartmouth. But they found something more surprising, the SAT helped find smart students from all kinds of backgrounds, even those who don’t have a lot of money. This shows that the SAT can open doors to more students.

The SAT's Role in Earning Scholarships

The SAT is very important not just for getting into college, but also for getting scholarships. Students who score really high on the SAT might get scholarships that pay for a lot of their college costs. This means doing well on the SAT can help you get into college and also make it cheaper to go.

SAT Success with Our New Course

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Getting a high score on the SAT takes a lot of practice and preparation. It can also be very stressful. That's why I'm excited to tell you about our new SAT prep course that's coming soon. This course will include simple mindfulness exercises, like guided meditations and deep breathing, to help you stay calm and focused. Being calm can help you do your best on the SAT and in other tough situations in school and life. Our course will help you understand the SAT better and improve your scores with proven techniques and lots of practice. Stay tuned for more details!

 

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Goldilocks and the Admissions Officers

Join us in a unique journey where the classic Goldilocks tale meets college admissions. Explore the quest for the 'just right' school through our interactive chatbot. It's your personal guide through the three 'porridge bowls' of colleges—find the one where you'll thrive, not just survive. Rediscover your strengths, mirror your aspirations, and illuminate your potential with insights as timeless as they are relevant. Step into Goldilocks' shoes and let's find your perfect college match!

Exploring Your Fit

Little-known facts about the Goldilocks tale—it was longer than the version we hear today, and it's a parable about college admissions. Each aspect of your application is like Goldilocks exploring different parts of the Bears’ home, with each space and item revealing more about the perfect fit. Join me in rediscovering how your application process aligns with this unexpected guide.

Choosing the Right Challenge

She starts this journey hungry for success, so, she went straight to the kitchen. There, she finds three bowls of porridge. The too hot bowl, where the porridge burns her tongue, represents schools where the average SAT scores are just above yours. These schools might seem a bit daunting, but they challenge you to push your limits and expand your academic horizons. The too cool bowl (who like cold oatmeal?) symbolizes schools where your SAT scores are above the average, offering a too-comfortable environment where you may not reach your potential. Finally, the just right bowl, matching your SAT scores, suggests schools where you're likely to thrive and be challenged appropriately.

Reflecting Your Best Self

With a full belly, Goldilocks moves to a new room, forgotten by time. Goldilocks discovers three reflective mirrors. Each mirror offers a different view, just like the college essays you write. These mirrors don’t distort; they show the truth. The first reflects who you are, capturing your essence. The second shows your journey, with all its challenges and triumphs. The third displays your aspirations, where you hope to go. Your essays, like these mirrors, allow colleges to see the many sides of your personality and potential.

Finding Your Community

In the warm, inviting living room, Goldilocks tests various chairs, much like how you try out extracurricular activities. Some chairs are too rigid, offering no comfort; others are too plush and give little support. But then, she finds one that’s just right, perfectly comfortably supporting her weight. These chairs are like your activities—some may challenge you but might feel overwhelming, others might not engage you enough, but the right ones fit perfectly with your strengths and interests, reinforcing your application with genuine passion.

Guided by Recommendations 

Outside, as Goldilocks wanders the garden, she follows lanterns that light her path. These aren’t just any lanterns; they represent your letters of recommendation. Each lantern shines brightly, highlighting your best qualities as seen by teachers, counselors, and mentors who have watched you grow. These letters illuminate your way through the admissions process, helping committees see not just your past but the potential paths you can navigate in the future.

Academic Preparation 

Finally, Goldilocks faces the crucial test of beds, which in our story, symbolize the courses you’ve taken (the mattress) and your GPA (the blankets). Together, they show how well you're prepared to handle college-level work. Just as Goldilocks looks for the bed that offers the best rest, colleges seek applicants whose academic foundations promise great potential for success.

Surprise Acceptances

As our story comes to a close, the bears come back to find Goldilocks in their home. Just like college admissions officers looking at applications, the bears have to make a big choice. In the story, it might seem strange that they would let Goldilocks stay after she explored their house. In the same way, sometimes when you apply to colleges, you might be surprised. Colleges that you didn’t think would accept you might invite you to join them. If the bears give Goldilocks a big bear hug, it means you've found a college that really likes what makes you special and wants to help you succeed. But if the bears decide it’s better for her to leave, it just means there's a better place for you somewhere else—a place that will really value who you are.

Interactive Guidance

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Ready to step into Goldilocks’ shoes and find your perfect college match? Let's make it fun with our interactive chatbot! Just as Goldilocks explored the Bears' house, this chatbot will take you on a journey through your college application. It'll ask about your grades, test scores, activities, and preferences like whether you want to study close to home or adventure out-of-state, and at a public or private school. I’ll take your answers and craft a personalized email with a list of colleges that could be your too hot, just right, or too cool choices. This is your chance to see where you might fit best and start planning your exciting future. So, why wait? Try it out and let’s find your perfect college match together!

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Reflect, Reset, Realign: My Journey through Challenge and Change

Introduction

In the world of business, there are moments that catch you off guard, testing not only your professional understandings but also your personal resilience. During a recent challenging period in my journey, my business coach, Marc Nudelberg, reminded me of a valuable process he shared in his TED Talk. This process became a cornerstone in my journey through this challenge.

Embracing the 24-Hour Rule

Amidst the whirlwind of emotions following my recent challenge, I turned to Marc's advice: the 24-hour rule. This rule is about giving yourself a full day to process emotions, to feel the depth of what you're going through. It's acknowledging that while we can't control everything in business, we can control our reactions and responses to emotions.

The Role of Shaving

As part of this process, I found solace in a personal ritual - shaving. It might sound silly, but for me, shaving my head and face has always symbolized starting anew. As I shaved, I visualized letting go of the previous two weeks and everything those days carried with them. This act was more than just physical; it was a metaphorical reset, aligning my thoughts and emotions for what lay ahead.

Accepting Responsibility

Owning my role in the situation was a pivotal moment. It wasn't about pointing fingers but about taking responsibility for my part in the communication breakdown and subsequent decisions. This acknowledgment was not easy, but it was necessary for personal growth and future strategy.

Learning from Ownership

This ownership led to profound insights. It highlighted areas where my approach needed refinement, particularly in communication and expectation management. It was a reminder that in business, clarity and directness are not just preferred; they're essential.

Outcomes of Ownership

By accepting my role, I was able to transition from reflection to action. This shift was crucial in reshaping my business strategies. It led to a more thoughtful approach to how I handle business relationships, ensuring that my communication is clear and my expectations are well-defined.

Strategic Realignment

The insights gained have been woven into my strategic plan for 2024. While the specifics of these strategies aren’t the focus here, it's important to note that they are deeply informed by the lessons learned from this experience. The goal is to foster a business environment where such challenges are handled with greater foresight and clarity.

Conclusion

Navigating through this challenge, guided by the principles from Marc’s TED Talk, has been an enlightening journey. The 24-hour rule and my shaving ritual helped me reset emotionally, while owning my role opened the door to meaningful changes in my approach to business. Challenges, I've been reminded, aren’t just obstacles; they are opportunities for introspection, growth, and realignment.

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Call to Action

I invite you to reflect on your own experiences. How do you process and overcome business challenges? What rituals or practices help you reset and move forward?

Link to Marc’s Ted Talk: Four Steps to Turn Failure Into Fuel

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The Art of Embracing Interruptions: Lessons from Burkeman, Loki, and baseball’s NLCS

The Art of Embracing Interruptions: Lessons from Burkeman, Loki, and baseball’s NLCS.

Introduction

In the bustling arena of life where every moment is a stride, interruptions often walk in unannounced, subtly commanding our attention and redirecting our focus. They enter the room without knocking, injecting a chorus of unpredictability into our meticulously composed melodies of productivity and creativity. 

In this exploration, we weave together diverse threads of insight: Oliver Burkeman’s wise perspectives encourage us to view interruptions as unexpected architects of a richer life tapestry, rather than as disruptive forces. These perspectives come from his series "You Are Here," specifically the first teaching titled "What is an interruption, anyway?" on the Waking Up app. We also traverse the imaginative realms of the Marvel Cinematic Universe’s "Loki" series, where chaos and unpredictability are masterful artists in the epic saga of transformation. Complementing these narratives, the world of baseball, exemplified in a strategic dance between the Arizona Diamondbacks and the Phillies’ Zack Wheeler in the National League Championship Series, showcases a live theatre of spontaneity, strategy, and human endeavor. Together, these realms invite us to perceive interruptions as harmonizing elements in life's symphony, cultivating a landscape ripe with diverse expressions of creativity and adaptability. 

Guided by Burkeman’s wisdom, inspired by Loki’s adventures, and enlightened by the spirit of baseball, we set on a journey to explore the realm of interruptions. Here, we may find the hidden chords that blend our paths with spontaneity, resilience, and a graceful dance with the unexpected rhythms of life. 

Burkeman’s Insightful Perspective on Interruptions 

Oliver Burkeman offers a practical and transformative viewpoint on handling interruptions in our daily lives. He challenges the common approach of creating strict, interruption-free time blocks aimed at maximizing productivity and focus. According to Burkeman, this approach might actually be counterproductive. By treating certain times as strictly off-limits and free from interruptions, we might be setting ourselves up for more distress when interruptions inevitably happen. 

Burkeman encourages us to reconsider how we define and react to interruptions. Instead of seeing them solely as disruptions that throw us off course, we could view them as a natural part of life’s flow, allowing for adaptability and spontaneity. He suggests that by loosening our rigid structures and being more open to unexpected events, we might find interruptions less jarring and more manageable. 

In essence, he promotes a flexible approach to time and tasks, seeing interruptions as enriching experiences rather than obstacles. 

Life Lessons From Loki 

In the intriguing world of the Marvel Cinematic Universe’s "Loki" series, there lies a powerful narrative that reflects our struggles and strategies in managing life’s uncertainties and interruptions. The Time Variance Authority (TVA) diligently works to maintain a ‘sacred timeline’, ensuring that everything unfolds as it is ‘supposed to happen’. They go to extreme lengths, trimming variations and deviations to preserve the sanctity of this predetermined order. 

This approach by the TVA draws a striking parallel to how we often attempt to manage our own lives and experiences. We tend to set firm plans and timelines, striving to minimize disruptions and keep everything aligned with our expectations. Just like the TVA, we often resort to ‘trimming variations’—resisting and denying unexpected occurrences to maintain our perceived control and order. 

But it's essential to consider the implicit violence in this method of maintaining order. The TVA eliminates people to preserve the timeline's sanctity, a harsh metaphor for how our rigidities and non-acceptance of life's interruptions can stifle our authenticity and vibrancy. In a way, by not embracing and accepting what’s happening in our lives, we might be suppressing or ‘killing’ parts of our experiences and realities, denying ourselves the full spectrum of human experience and personal growth. So, "Loki" subtly invites us to reflect on our rigidities and openness to life’s uncertainties and surprising interruptions. 

Baseball: The Mental Game of Handling Past Failures and Embracing New Outcomes 

In baseball, as in life, history often weighs heavily on the present moment. During the National League Championship Series between the Arizona Diamondbacks and the Philadelphia Phillies, this tension was palpable. A pregame telecast on ESPN specifically focused on a riveting storyline: Zack Wheeler, the Phillies' pitcher, had consistently dominated the Diamondbacks' hitters throughout the regular season. The analysts dissected this pattern, pondering how the Diamondbacks would approach their at-bats against Wheeler this time around. 

The central question was one of mindset: Would the Diamondbacks' hitters step into the batter's box haunted by their past failures against Wheeler, or would they be open to new possibilities, willing to invite different outcomes? This is where the intricacies of baseball intersect with our broader exploration of how we handle interruptions and unplanned events. 

Each at-bat offers a fresh start, a new pitch, and a potential shift in the narrative. If the Diamondbacks' hitters approached each pitch as an unwelcome interruption of their comfort zone, dictated by their past failures, their chances of succeeding would be slim. However, if they embraced each pitch as an opportunity for a new outcome, unburdened by the past, they'd be more agile, adaptable, and ultimately, more successful. 

This scenario is a powerful metaphor for dealing with life's interruptions. If we approach every new "pitch" life throws our way as an extension of our past failures or discomforts, we limit our potential for growth and success. However, if we step into each new moment willing to embrace it as an independent event, with its own set of possibilities, we create space for unexpected victories, both small and large. 

Reconceptualizing Interruptions: Why They Matter More Than You Think 

After exploring various perspectives on the role of interruptions—from Burkeman's philosophical take, to the world-building narrative of "Loki," to the tension-filled moments of the NLCS in baseball—one thing becomes clear: interruptions are neither inherently good nor bad. Their impact on us is largely shaped by the mindset with which we approach them. 

Burkeman suggests that we adopt a more flexible attitude toward time and interruptions, a theme that we've touched on earlier. However, what has not been stressed enough is the transformational potential that lies in simply accepting the unavoidable nature of interruptions. We usually see them as glitches in our well-laid plans, but when we step back, we find that these are not glitches at all; they are life itself unfolding in its most natural state. 

So what's next? The answer lies in alignment—aligning our expectations and reactions to better accommodate the unpredictable yet enriching phenomena we call interruptions. Rather than being events to be avoided, they can be moments of pause, opportunities for reflection, or even catalysts for innovation. By shifting how we view them, we make room for more spontaneity, resilience, and, indeed, for life to happen in its fullest sense. 

It's not about ignoring disruptions or denying their capacity to stir the waters; it's about integrating them into the larger, ever-changing narrative of our lives. In doing so, we allow the so-called disruptions to become harmonizing elements in our personal and collective journeys, opening new doors and enriching our experiences along the way. 

Conclusion: Embracing the Unpredictable Symphony of Life 

As we've journeyed through the wisdom of Oliver Burkeman, the intriguing narrative of "Loki," and the high-stakes unpredictability of baseball, we arrive at a common juncture: a newfound understanding of interruptions as not merely disruptions, but as life’s unscripted moments awaiting our embrace. 

Burkeman urges us to shift our mental frameworks, to let go of rigid structures that make interruptions seem more like adversaries than opportunities. "Loki" goes further, challenging us to confront the uncomfortable truth that in our quest for control, we may be sacrificing the richness of life's tapestry. Baseball, with its unpredictability and spontaneity, shows us that past failures need not dictate present actions. Every pitch, every moment is a fresh start. So, as you go about your days, interrupted by unexpected phone calls, derailed by unplanned events, or even caught off guard by sudden insights, remember—these are not distractions from life; they are life. And just like any great story or thrilling sports match, life too gets its richness, not from its predictability, but from its surprises, its interruptions, its beautiful unpredictability. 

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Let's not just accommodate these interruptions—let's welcome them. For in doing so, we open ourselves up to a fuller, richer, and perhaps even a more harmonious experience of life. 




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